In dreams…

Oh, the follies of youth… The invincibility and the promise that is part and parcel of being young; when one is bulletproof and all seems possible. Youthful belief and fuels dreams, and the world seems ripe with opportunity.

Whence did that pioneering spirit of mine go? I did have dreams. I remember them. Although now, many years later, the dreams I had seen almost blithely naive. Where did all that self belief come from? That ingrained attitude of confidence, unsullied by doubt. From whence did it come if not from the innocence that is a part and parcel of being a blissfully ignorant youth.

The years have not been kind to my dreams… It seems almost embarrassing to look back, delve into the history of my dreams. They all seem so absurdly grandiose; farcical and comical. Perhaps that is what being young does; gives one the opportunity to be grandiose, farcical and comical. Being young is a great excuse to live in denial of ones own abilities. For what use is dreaming if one only has practical aspirations?

And then age sets in, and with it comes wisdom. Mayhaps wisdom is not the right term here, pragmatism may be s better fit. Reality. The end of delusions; the day when dreaming ends… There comes a day of reckoning when we all come to realise the flimsiness of our dreams.

It is easy to look back and laugh at my wild dreams. But it is not a laughter that is mirthful, rather a laughter that is tinged with bitterness, imbued with a certain wistfulness. Not perhaps for the dream itself, but of the promise that I once had; for the time when I truly and wholeheartedly believed-those days are gone. And nothing I can do will bring those days back.

To live in the past; in dreams past-that is a foible that I cannot afford. For I must move on, desist from living in moments gone by. Time is not circular, but linear; moments once lost can never be regained. Memories are all that remain of times gone by. What use is reminiscing about dreams I once had? It is bittersweet nostalgia and a recognition that I once was hopeful, that I once was young, that I once saw the world as being full of opportunity..


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